We all grieve in our own way, but the passing of Kokeano has taught me that we ALL grieve, dogs included. Kokeano left us on Wednesday; he was 10 years old this month. When he was diagnosed with cancer this summer we were told he had six months, I mentally braced myself that come Christmas we may be saying goodbye to him. In November he spiked a fever and a blood test confirmed that the cancer was systemic. Since our business is in our home, there is always someone nearby for our dogs, but I felt an unexplainable need for someone to be with Kokeano at all times. So for the past two months he has never been alone. We all took turns being with him, and our other dogs took their turns comforting him as well. Kokeano is on the lower left with Clementine next to him and Zander behind him.
We had two months to love him, and tell him how much he meant to us, to comfort him, to say goodbye…and yet, it still does not feel like it was enough time. Fortunately Sophia and Nicolette were home from college on Christmas break. He slept most of the time, waking only to go to the bathroom. When he stopped eating we bought him all kinds of treats to entice him to eat. He did enjoy those treats! No longer could he get up to greet us at the door, but he still wagged his tail for Nicolette when she came home. They had a special bond, and Kokeano reserved his strength – saving his tail wagging just for her. He lost weight rapidly, going from 65 pounds down to 40 pounds, and in the end he was so weak he could not stand. We are grateful he suffered very little. He looked so small in the end and his eyes looked sad. Just before he died Zander kissed him goodbye. I needed to be near him, so I placed my hand on his head and looked into his eyes. Kokeano gave me a final look; then had the most peaceful expression before his eyes rolled back and he was gone. Kokeano loved being under the blankets with us, so much so that he would wake us up so that we would cover him. Dr. Nolan apologized for the feminine blanket, and I explained that Kokeano LOVED blankets. Dr. Nolan wrapped him up, and John carried Kokeano to the truck. When John came inside he nearly collapsed from grief.
We are all grieving. I did not expect it to be so hard. Even our other dogs are grieving. Today Zander stands in the middle of the living room barking and whining at no one. His best friend is gone. He is grieving. Clementine sat for an hour just looking at the door. She is grieving. Nike is trying to figure out his place now that Kokeano is gone; after all someone has to be top dog, right?
Sorry Nike, but no one will be the alpha dog like Kokeano.
Kokeano…founder of Fetch ‘n Fun. He was the Master Comforter and Protector while John was gone in Iraq. Alpha dog and Professor of Proper Doggie Daycare Etiquette, and most beloved canine….you may be gone, but as long as I live, you will always be the dominate dog in my life and in my heart. Below are pictures of Kokeano helping us to build Fetch ‘n Fun.
Have fun in Heaven Kokeano...see you soon.
John and Susan and family (four-legged ones included) my heart goes out to you -- Kokeano looks like a one-of-a-kind and unless you've lost a beloved pet -- you can never know how deeply it can be felt. Your love and devotion to him is amazing and my guess is that he's looking down at you now, healthy -- wagging his tail. Hope the hurt eases in the days to come -- I for one, will be eternally grateful to Kokeano the founder of FNF -- Betsy's home away from home.
Marty and Betsy
Posted by: marty | January 06, 2012 at 01:20 PM
I am so so sorry for the grief you are all feeling! {{HUGS}}
Posted by: Barbara | January 06, 2012 at 03:39 PM